Friday, June 22, 2012

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

Yes, I titled this post after a Semisonic song. Sue me. 

I'm moving tomorrow.

Crap.

This past Sunday, Lu called and said she was coming over to help me pack. I insisted that I didn't need help, but really I was laying on my floor, surrounded by half packed boxes, listening to "Call Me Maybe". She stated, with (correct) certainty that I wasn't getting enough accomplished and made her way over. As always, Lu gave me a much needed kick in the butt. We got a lot done (and by both I mean she did most of the packing and I paced across the apartment) - both in the way of packing and getting drunk off of box wine. (As an aside - I believe that the stress of moving has caused me to become a wino, as I have never consumed so much wine by myself as I have since starting to pack. But, wine is delicious so there is pretty much no issue with this at all). But then, instead of packing on Wednesday, I went to my Luna run. Instead of finishing it all up last night I played a kickball double header. Instead of tying up loose ends tonight I am going sailing with some friends. Clearly I'm in a little bit of denial about the move.

I'm not dragging my feet on moving because I'm lazy. Well, not entirely. It's been an emotional experience to pack up this apartment. When I moved two years ago, I was in a very different place in my life. Work had just started to get pretty terrible, and I was going through a rocky transition with some of my friends. I was nasty and negative, and it was exhausting. I didn't love my life and if I'm being honest - I didn't really love myself. Living by myself has helped me to come into my own. I've realized that I like, but don't need, to be surrounded by my friends. And despite the fact that I am a social creature, sometimes I need a weekend to do absolutely nothing except go to Target and to watch hours of awful reality television. I have some weird habits - I change into sweatpants as soon as I walk through the door, usually leaving a trail of clothing in my path. Sometimes a meal will consist of chocolate chips, a salad, and popsicles (not all together, because that would be disgusting). Going through all of my things and packing up to move has forced me to think a lot about the past and all of the feelings I thought I'd left behind.

I'm so excited to start a new chapter in my life. I'm really looking forward to living with Julia and to making our apartment a home. It'll be so nice to come home to a friend, to talk about our days, and to drink plenty of wine (not by myself). Living alone was something that I really needed to experience. I think that it's helped me to grow in ways I never would have imagined.  And you know what else? I love my life, my friends, my hobbies and (most of the time), myself. I'm not perfect, but I've made so many positive changes to my life and my attitude over the last two years that I can't help but be happy about how far I've come.

Here's to new beginnings! Tell me about your new chapters and experiences!

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