To the three women I came in contact with while walking to the T,
I hope that you got some satisfaction from mocking me while I was only five feet in front of you. I pray that you feel better about yourself after saying, out loud, that I am too chubby to wear my new colored denim jeans. Perhaps, by putting me down, you were able to make yourselves feel better for being such shitty people. I'm also really interested in how you said, also loudly, that you all would only wear colored jeans if you were very, very thin. I must have missed the sign at The Gap that had the weight requirements for wearing bright blue pants. Are there any other requirements that I should be aware of? At what weight am I supposed to give up on clothing altogether and just don a potato sack? Is there a specific number at which I am not allowed to leave the house at all? I think this would be really important information to me to know.
I hope that you were embarrassed when I turned around and said "You know that you're not whispering, RIGHT? You know that I can hear everything you're saying, RIGHT?" What I would have told you, if I'd had the time, is that I'm not perfect, I never claimed to be anywhere close to it. I have my own issues and insecurities - ones that you were truly kind in pointing out, in public. If we could have talked, I also would have told you that my "chubby" legs have run nine half marathons, and one full marathon. Also, these "chubby" arms destroyed some truly difficult routes at the rock gym today. I have worked hard for this body that seems to offend you so, and for that I am truly sorry.
I'm sorry that you all have no manners, and I hope that you never outgrow your skinny jeans, because then you might be just like me. And lord knows how awful that would be, right?