Sunday, January 8, 2012

i am a runner

Well, I had a whole blog entry written and blogger decided to shit itself and shut down, so it's gone into the ether. That's pretty annoying. 

One year ago today I became a marathoner. And then in February I ran my seventh half marathon, followed by my first relay in May. Halfway through the year I fell apart. I have spent the last seven months being injured and/or in physical therapy and the chiropractor's office. I don't know what I expected after being cleared to run again. Maybe I'd hoped that I'd get back to running half marathons in no time, and that I'd still be able to keep my same pace. Seems pretty unreasonable, right? I went from being able to run for 5 hours to wanting to die before hitting five miles. Humbling doesn't even begin to explain it.

Getting back into running hasn't been easy. I don't remember being this sore or frustrated when I first started to run back in 2007. But, then again, I guess I had no expectations of what my body could do. Now I know what I am (or was) capable of, and am continuously frustrated to be so far from it. I have to keep reminding myself that I can get back there, and if I put in the time and the miles, that I will. One day.

Yesterday I ran 8 miles. It's the longest run in.. I don't even know how long. A pretty long time. It didn't feel magical and amazing. Well, parts of it did. But towards the end I felt like crap. Today my knee feels achy and my hamstrings are tight. But I did it. I am running the Hyannis half and that's definitely helped to put a flame under my ass. I know I will run a half marathon on February 26th. Will I PR? No, probably not. But I've long since realized that not every race will be your fastest. There are so many other things that can make a race experience amazing. I am, slowly, proving to myself that I can run. That I am mentally and physically strong enough to once again call myself a runner.

I am a runner.

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