Monday, April 11, 2011

warning

This past Saturday I actually agreed to leave my side of the river and venture into Boston. I went to a nice bar in the South End with some of my lady friends. Of course the first men who talk to us would be the lost cast members from the Jersey Shore. One of the guys looked exactly like Ronnie. The first thought that went through my head was "OMG JUICEHEAD". And I think he may have been a frequent steroid user. He "subtly" dropped that he had a silver Range Rover and was obviously disappointed when I didn't fawn all over him or his muscles. His pal was wearing a v-neck that exposed his shaved chest, smooth as a baby's bottom. Of course he had a huge cross necklace on as well as one tattooed to his arm. So very holy. Oh, and he kept calling me "titties". Seriously dude? He told me that what he liked most about me (other than my boobs) was that I was playing hard to get. My response? "....not playing. I actually don't like you".

I could have ignored most of these shortcomings. However, these fine, upstanding gentleman spent a lot of time gloating about the series of naked pictures that they'd been sent by various girls. Not only that, they were more than eager to show them to me. One guy explained that there are some pictures from girls whom he respects, and he'd never show them to any one. I guess he didn't respect most of them, because I saw a LOT of photo boobs on Saturday night. Apparently Ronnie-twin and Douchebag McGee didn't even ask the women to send these pictures. They sent them of their own accord. I don't think they imagined that these men would be showing them off to various strangers at the bar. I'm sure there's been a Lifetime or ABC Family movie on the matter. That should be warning enough!

So ladies of the world, do yourselves a favor and STOP SENDING NAKED PICTURES OF YOURSELF. Or at least stop sending them to guys who are so obviously huge douchemonkeys.

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