Wednesday, December 8, 2010


I've been told that I'm a little bit of a bitch to guys I meet at bars. Actually, I'm not so much a bitch as much as I'm skeptical of every word that comes out of their mouths since most of it is complete and total bullshit. I don't like when people spit out lines just to impress me; I find it annoying and patronizing.  And I have a really hard time hiding my distaste for bullshit conversation. Oh, you work in finance? Yea, I don't care. Did you invent the soft serve frozen yogurt machine? Now THERE'S something that would impress me. Froyo would make me swoon.

Take last week for instance.. I met up with a friend of mine at the bar near my apartment. She'd been chatting with a couple of men and I struck up a conversation with one. What first annoyed me was that he was fishing to find out if I had a boyfriend, and he was doing quite the crap job of it. He said  things like "Oh, so does your boyfriend run with you?" or "Does your boyfriend live around here too?" Finally I replied "My theoretical, non-existent boyfriend is super supportive of everything I do, running and otherwise, and an incredibly good looking male model. Thanks for asking!"

Then he asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend. I don't know why, but this is pretty much the worst question that anyone could ever ask me next to "why do you look so tired?". Even though I guess it's supposed to be a compliment, it makes me raaaage, I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that? "Oh, I'm single because I date guys with the emotional capacity of garden gnomes," or maybe I could say "I only date men who dump me over the phone," or maaaybe  "I only date guys who go out with me in order to get over their ex girlfriends"? I'd like to think that I'm single not only because there's no one that I even like right now, and because I refuse to settle for anything less than being over the moon for a guy.

I think that a huge part of it is that I hate being fawned over - it feels insincere coming from someone who barely knows me. After venting to my guy friend about the situation he looked at me and said "Wow, you're really.." and I said "Really what? Funny, or ---" and he interrupted me and said "Ruthless. Man, you're ruthless"

Okay, maybe I am a bitch.

Yea, probably. - I hope my shocking humor will get you to drop your panties


Nik said...

Ain't no shame in being you! Men in bars are morons--simple fact. I also love the "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" question too . . .

Keep ur chin up girl!!


A said...

Since when is "you look really tired" a question?


Every Little Thing said...

you know what's funny is that i dated this guy that was very nice, but it was a natural part of his culture to basically fawn over women. it was first. by the second month, it felt very...impersonal. i felt like he was doing it because that's what he had been taught and shown how to treat women, which is great except i want someone to treat me special because they like ME enough that it just comes naturally, and it's something that a guy WANTS to do for me, not feel like they are supposed to. it just ended up not feeling genuine at all. he was a really nice guy, just...not for me.

Unknown said...

nik- chin is up! :)

adam - sorry, i guess the most annoying STATEMENT then..

stacy - i agree that it feels impersonal. i know that i'm awesome, but it's pretty hard to believe that 10 mins into meeting someone that they think i'm the most amazing, beautiful, talented and awesome creature to ever walk the planet.

Penelope said...

This is HILARIOUS. Reminds me of some of my single mom dating days. Great post.

AuntBT said...

Be proud. Cause the morons in the bars just ain't worth it.

Haughty by Nature said...

My personal response to "so why don't you have a boyfriend" would be "because everyone I meet is even lamer than you, if you can believe it". Who ARE these people? I also encourage being a bitch to boys at bars (and in general). I think most women are way too nice and settle for skeazy when they should be amping up the attitude.

Great post!

Haughty by Nature said...

I gave you a shout out on my blog as well, since I had just done a similar post!