Thursday, October 21, 2010

an ode to big brothers

Today is my big brother's 31st birthday. My hope is that Matt, along with the rest of my family, never  discover that I have a blog. But anyway...

I'd like to tell you a little bit about my big brother. He's the one who swam me out at Jones Beach and left me there until my mother yelled "MATTHEW DO NOT LET YOUR SISTER DROWN!". He's the one who asked me to play hide and seek and then put me into a cube with no air circulation until I almost passed out. He's the one who locked me in a pitch black basement and let me cry until I just about threw up. He's also the one who I think intentionally (which, he denies) walked away from me at MGM studios while I was getting autographs. This, by the way, resulted in me being lost in the park until my dad managed to find me, sobbing near the entrance.

There was one day, I don't think I was more than 10 years old, and I was playing with the neighbor. We lived on dead end and there were tons of kids who lived on the other side. There was a snazzy little path that went through the dead end so I could just walk on over. One day, I was playing with one of the girls from the other side and her older brother, Claudio, started teasing me. Lacking any sort of defense mechanism, I just cried and cried and cried. My tormentor took this to mean his victory, but instead of just taking the win and going, he decided to take it one step further. Claudio picked up a HUGE handful of sand and clapped it down on the top of my head. Not only did he pour sand on my head, but he made sure it was reeeaally embedded in my scalp.

I took off running towards my house, in search of my mom or dad. My brother caught me as I came barreling through the front door, sobbing. Once he calmed me down a little bit, I was able to tell him what had happened. Without a word or a moment of hesitation, he went through the dead end, found Claudio, and punched him in the face. The rule is that he's allowed to torture me however I want, but so help anyone who tries to do the same.

We've always had very different personalities. He's shy where I'm obnoxiously social. He's good at math and science and I wanted to punch myself in the face during my intro to Astronomy class in college. But he loves me endlessly and whether he admits it or not, I know that he's proud of me. For better or worse, I am lucky to have him in my life. Happy, happy 31st birthday to my old fart of a big brother. It's good to know that no matter how old I get, he will always be exactly four years and four months older than me!


Monica said...

Aw this is adorable. All I kept hearing in my head was Kayne's song "Big Brother" haha

j. said...

I've never heard that! must go listen right now :)

Brooke Farmer said...

Awwwww!!! This made me think of my brother. He still torments me to a degree. And he still defends me any time I need defending.

I'm glad your brother punched Claudio. Made me smile.

j. said...

brooke - just so you know, not a day goes by when he doesn't remind me of it, but i'm glad he did it too!