Wednesday, June 23, 2010

well, that backfired

In case any of you were worried - I'm alive! It was touch and go on Sunday, but I did manage to survive the weekend. Well, that is until I woke up on Tuesday morning feeling as though someone had slammed me in the face and throat with a two-by-four. Sore throat, swollen glands, alternating between a runny and stuffy nose, a low grade fever -- some may call this the common cold -- I will now refer to it as the Dirty Jerz Plague. DJP has knocked me on my ass for the last two days and I'm really not pleased about it since I'm scheduled to run a half marathon on Sunday. I have decided that I am going to feel better and I WILL be running on Sunday. My body will just have no choice but to cooperate. DJP WILL NOT KEEP MY DOWN, YOU HEAR ME?

Anyway, I will update about my boozy weekend but until then I'd like to share a story about today's experience at the doctor's office. Well, let's back up a bit to this morning. I woke up really early this morning still feeling terrible. I decided that I'd make a huge mug of tea and add some Maker's Mark. My roommate always raves about how good bourbon and tea are for a sore throat. I was a little weary of drinking before 10am on a Wednesday, but hey - it's medicinal! Right? Riiight!

So after sitting next to a slovenly woman in the waiting room who REEKED of cigarette smoke, I then had my temperature and blood pressure taken by yet another woman who smelled as though she'd been chain smoking just before she walked in. Sadly my normal doctor, who is hilarious, quirky and one step away from being bat-shit crazy, was on vacation. In walks the other doctor and she starts my examination. Just as she's leaning over me to swap my mouth for the rapid strep test she pauses and says..

"Well this is a bit.. but.. um.. have you been.. drinking?"

(Keep in mind this is 1pm on a weekday)

To which I reply, "Oh! I put some bourbon in my tea.. for my throat! It helps with sore throats! It's medicinal I swear!"

After that she just stared at me and said "And you drove here?"

So the doctor probably thinks that I have some sort of a drinking problem. It's not like I was taking shots in the morning, although from the look on her face I may as well have been mainlining tequila.

My life is full of awkward. And snot - I've got a lot of that going on right now. Hot, right?

are you an alcoholic Pictures, Images and Photos


Michelle said...

HA! I loveeee Maker's Mark, so perhaps I will be putting that in my tea for my "sore throat..." uh...yeah.

Unknown said...

i bet i'm going to get hate emails for suggesting that people should drink in the mornings haha.

and UGH i hate bourbon - you are a stronger woman than i to love it so much!

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dogimo said...

My grandpop Jim always called it "cough medicine."

And it must have worked, 'cause I can't recall ever hearing that dude cough!

dogimo said...

(get better and kick ASS on Sunday!!)

Unknown said...

if grandpop jim can use it - so can i!! and thank you for the good luck vibes, i may need it! :)

Charlotte said...

Vodka and rum were always used in my household growing up for pretty much any kind of ailment. I'm sure you didn't have enough that it would seriously impair your judgement behind the wheel. But in any event, I hope you feel better soon!