Thursday, May 20, 2010


This morning I woke up cranky. Way more cranky than usual. Like, grand mal cranky. And it only proceeded to get worse and by the time I got to work I was feeling quite bitchy. Then, I started getting dizzy and then I started gurgling. I spent the entire morning and part of the afternoon trying not to vomit and fending off "are you pregnant?!" questions from my coworkers. Maybe it's a side effect of working in an office of mostly women who spawn like it's actually their job. Maybe it's because everyone loves gossip and the idea of the single girl gettin' knocked up. Seriously - if I actually WAS pregnant do you think I'd be sitting all calm at my desk? Or that I'd tell my coworkers? I'd be home, in the fetal position, slamming my head against the wall.

So now that we've addressed the pregnancy thing - let's talk about how I did eventually throw up at work. I decided then I should probably go home. No one wants the puke girl to stay in the office. I think I stayed at work longer than I should have because I was afraid of throwing up on the bus. I have this fear of vomiting in public and starting a chain reaction of puking and OH GOD it's making me sick just to think about it. So I'm on the bus and I'm focusing on my breathing. Deep breath in through the nose, and out through the mouth. No vomiting on the bus, I will NOT throw up on the bus.

And I didn't throw up on the bus.

I threw up right after I stepped OFF of the bus.


PS - don't ever, EVER Google image search "puke". I swear on everything that I am that you will regret it for the rest of your life. Just like I will.


Anonymous said...

ughhhh. my first night studying abroad in london we went crazy obviously. the next day we had a lonnnng bus ride around town and boy did i want to vomit. i just kept saying to myself 'don't be the girl that pukes, don't be the girl that pukes' it was miserable!

j. said...

ughh that sounds terrible. i was the chick who vomited in a TRASH can, how hot am i?!