Monday, March 22, 2010

oh hi, remember me?

Oh hey there. Apparently I have this thing called a blog. And I'm supposed to write funny, embarrassing, random stories, right? Sorry for the almost week-long hiatus, life has gotten away from me again. On Sunday morning, I drove back to Queens for exactly 24 hours with two goals in mind: 1. see my best friend and 2. surprise/scare the shit out of my mother. I can say with total certainty that both missions were accomplished! But it wouldn't be a visit with my mother without a story, right? Right!

I walk into my house and literally JUMP into my parent's room and yell "HI MOM!".  First she was confused, and then she was excited, and then she squealed in a pitch that only certain dogs can hear. She smothered me with hugs and kisses. It was a genuine Hallmark moment, I tell ya. And then, like a tidal wave, almost in one breath, it came:

"Haveyoulostweight?Youlookreallygood.Areyoudatinganyone?
HaveyoutriedJdateyet?Darametherhusbandthereyoucouldtoo!"

Beautiful moment over. FINITO.

5 comments:

dogimo said...

You should've figured out a way to get that on video.

It cracks me up that she wants you to try J-Date and she's Catholic! Isn't there a C-Date?

j. said...

i should be wired like an undercover cop. that would really make for some interesting blogs.

she wants me to try jdate because she wants me to be in a relationship. desperately. and she doesn't care how i get there.

Charlotte said...

Haven't visited your blog in a while and wanted to show some love. I have heard many great things about Jdate, too. But that's funny your mom said it in the same breath she welcomed you home with :)

j. said...

welcome back charlotte! i've been a little boring lately but i'm working on that :) and my mom is a glorious, hilarious piece of work!

Anonymous said...

this sounds like my mother.