Wednesday, February 17, 2010

j the grouch

Ahh the beauty of winter. When everyone (myself included) is sick with some variation of the plague. I woke up yesterday with a sore throat and a bit of congestion, but by bedtime I felt alright. When my alarm went off at 6am this morning so I could go to the gym I was surprised to find that I couldn't breathe out of my nose. And then I was pissed  because my glands were swollen. I managed to get out of the apartment with the help of a hot shower and some Dayquil but I was not pleased when walking up two flights of stairs to my office caused me to basically hyperventilate.

On the bus this morning I managed to get the last available seat. Sweet, right? Wrong. I sat next to the world's most annoying girl. Why was she annoying? She was talking on her cell phone using a blue tooth thingy (yes, technical term) and her bag was totally encroaching on my personal bubble. But that's not all. Homegirl was hacking up each and every one of her internal organs, and maybe some extras along the way. And when she was done with that she started sneezing. Everytime she made a noise, I grimaced and exchanged pissed off glances with the gentleman sitting across from me. And she didn't cover her mouth!! I mean, I understand that people don't intentionally get sick, but couldn't they not spread their ickies (another technical term) all over the bus? I can't wait until I contract the bird flu or whatever flesh eating disease she has. 

I love winter. I love the bus. Can't you tell? Screw this, I need to move south. Way south.


9 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Georgia is calling your name....but then you'll hate spring when the whole armpit of the south is BRIGHT YELLOW from pollen. Talk about sneezing...

j. said...

1. my mother would kill me
2. my mother would kill me
3. did i mention that my mother would kill me?
4. if my mother didn't kill me for moving away then the pollen surely would. hello allergies!

Elizabeth said...

Boooo! I guess a visit will have to do!

Fawn said...

I told you you need to take my cold medicine cocktail. It will make you invincible when sitting next to a ball of festering germs.

dogimo said...

South?

Move West.

j. said...

fawn - i'm really considering it. last night i took nyquil and legit saw a unicorn walk through my room. i don't know how the tequila could be any worse.

joe - well i did reeaally like san fran and palo alto... would you protect me when my mother came to bludgeon me for leaving the west coast?

dogimo said...

j. - just play her own cards against her! Tell her, "but mom - San Francisco is overflowing with attractive, motivated and professional men who are unmarried."

It's totally true! It's technically totally true!

Charlotte said...

I really hate the fact that people don't see anything wrong with sneezing all over others on buses/subways. But I totally do the same thing. Instead of saying something like, "excuse me--would you mind just covering up??" I give everyone around me a "you see this??" glance and I spew venom from my eyeballs at the offender.

j. said...

charlotte, if it could spew venom from my eyeballs the world would be a more glorious, peaceful place for me.