Saturday, February 27, 2010

i'm not the hulk, sadly.

UPDATE: I don't have consumption, or an aortic aneurysm. Phew. I know you were all REALLY worried about that possibility. My doctor informed me that my throat and nasal passages are VERY angry with me. What else is new? Apparently they're incredibly irritated and swollen and that's why I'm having a problem with congestion. There's just no where for it all to go. Sad, I know. I'd also been running a low-grade fever (just under 100 degrees). I'm not sure how long that's been going on, since I didn't even think to take my temperature. All of this lead her to believe that my body is definitely fighting something but currently it's not bronchitis or pneumonia or anything like that. Well, not yet.

My crazy-but-lovable doctor then told me that she was going to prescribe a steroidal nasal spray, but not to worry because it won't "bulk me up like the HULK!" And yes, those were her exact words. She also prescribed me some Amoxicillin. BUBBLE GUM MEDICINE. I was so excited to come home and take that delicious medicine because, well, it's delicious. Imagine my surprise when I ripped open the package and I didn't find that glorious pink antibiotic. THEY GAVE ME THE PILLS. Why?! Well probably because I'm not 5 years old. But I am still very, very disappointed about this.

I was also duped into coming back in March for a checkup so that I could get up-to-date on my immunizations. Apparently the Whooping Cough vaccine is back? And I need it? Crap.

Later on I had a rather awkward moment with the pharmacist. I went to pick up my prescriptions and my pills had been flagged for some reason? Another pharmacist then pulls me over to the side and tells me that she saw that I was on birth control. Yes, I am, so? She then informed me that the Amoxicillin can decrease the effectiveness of the pill and that I should use a backup this month. Without even skipping a beat I said "Oh well, that doesn't matter. I'm not having sex right now anyway. I guess that's my backup!" She stared at me, nodded her head, and walked away.

Aaaand insert awkward turtle. He may as well have walked across the counter..

PS - Did I JUST admit to the entire blogosphere that I'm not gettin' any right now? Yes. I believe I did. Hell, there is no shame in that, right? Right? RIGHT?

7 comments:

F said...

Haha I love that the last paragraph is basically our bbm convo from yesterday.

j. said...

haha it is. you inspire me :)

Dori said...

I really wish you came to me. I would have told that you that over the age of 11 you have to specifically REQUEST liquid amoxil when getting the prescription, otherwise they default to the pills. I ALWAYS request it!

Dori said...

Also -- I have been on many an antibiotic and no pharmacy ever gave me that warning. Good thing I don't have any accidental children.

Elliott said...

Glad you're not dying and that your doc has a sense of humor.

Really just wanted to say I had a soap dish as a very young child that was shaped just like Mr. Turtle up there, and he'd float in the tub.

dogimo said...

Heck no J.! There's no shame in you not getting any. Anyone who's seen that last round of pictures knows that's all down to your personal choice and high-standards. No shame in that atall.

Glad you're in the clear, medically-wise.

j. said...

dori - next time i get another prescription you bet your ass that i will be requesting the liquid amoxil! and i am glad that you've never ended up with an "ooops" baby from it :)

elliott - i bet your soap dish wasn't nearly as awkward as my conversation with the pharmacist!

joe - thank you you're totally right. i could have posted all of the really awful pictures that would have made you rethink that statement, but i'll make sure to keep those between me and my friends who were there that night :)