Saturday, January 23, 2010

rest in peace

The last few days have been difficult. Heartbreaking. A huge part of me doesn't even want to blog about something so personal. But, the idea of posting inane cat macros, or stupid stories just seems inappropriate after all that's happened. On Tuesday afternoon my good friend, Robin, passed away. You may know her as the blogger behind decorated life, but I knew her as one of my best friends from high school, my Robessie. She suffered from Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder and dealt with chronic pain for most of her life. Her sickness went misdiagnosed until after college graduation. She was very brave, and often never let on about how sick she really was. On the outside you never would have known that she was always in a tremendous amount of pain.

Some of my friends like to joke that all girls from Queens look the same. And the first time she came to visit me in Boston, sure enough we were dressed, head-to-toe, in the same outfit. Black yoga pants, white v-neck Hanes t-shirt, horizontal striped sweater, black rimmed glasses and hair in a messy bun. Maybe all girls from Queens really do look the same. Our friendship over the last eleven years has always been complicated. We didn't always get along perfectly but, for better or worse we were a huge part of each others lives. The happy moments that we shared will always overshadow the bad times. I find some consolation in the knowledge that she left this earth feeling very loved and very happy. For that I am truly grateful.

Rest in peace, Robin Joy Sillau. To say that you will be missed is an understatement.



10 comments:

Dori said...

Beautiful post. I'm still not able to grasp this, and it is hard to think about anything else. I wrote a post as well which I'll be posting tomorrow or Monday... I just don't understand how this is.

j. said...

thanks Dori. i really was undecided as to whether or not to post this at all. everything else just seemed insignificant compared to her passing. i'm still having a difficult time processing it as well..

take care of yourself.

dogimo said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for all the loved ones she left behind as well. I wouldn't say you two look the same, but a certain kindred spirit certainly shines through.

Oh, Jess. There are in our lives those who give us so much we can never lose them. But I know it can't help to know that. You don't want just to keep a person in your heart. You want them in your life as well.

There's nothing I can say but I wish that I had the words.

j. said...

thanks joe. your comment is so sweet and it means a lot to me that you took the time to write out something so thoughtful. i was unsure as to whether or not i should even post this, but i figured that robin being a fellow blogger, she would understand.

thank you again.

Nik said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Here is a *hug* too . . .

Love and Peace,
Nik

Salt said...

I just found your blog via Date Girl and I am so so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts, as well as Robin's family and other friends.

I checked out her blog...that girl sure had style. This is just so sad.

j. said...

thanks so much nik, i appreciate it.

salt - welcome to my blog! i'm so sorry that the first post you had to see was about such a sad subject. and yes, without a doubt she had style, and damn, the girl could write!

Anonymous said...

"damn, the girl could write!"

Another similarity between you two.

Rebecca said...

She was so beautiful. I'm so sorry, girl :(

j. said...

thanks anonymous :)

and thank you rebecca, i appreciate it.