Friday, December 25, 2009

ambien =/= viagra

**WARNING: My family is likely going to give me tons and tons AND TONS of blogging material for the next few days. I hope that you enjoy the torture and insanity that is my family life. **

Last night my mom told me that she "borrowed" some Ambien from my Poppy. My dad has been sick with an awful cold and the noises emanating from his congested throat and chest are quite unpleasant. My mom is an incredibly light sleeper and therefore hasn't slept in a week. I told her about a hilarious YouTube video that I saw online and she goes "Oh! I have a funny story about Ambien!".

I should know, after almost twenty six years on this earth, that any story that my mother thinks is funny is probably one that I will find repulsive and/or traumatizing. She continues, "So Poppy took an Ambien and he got.. FRISKY with Audzilla. I mean, he was going after her in the apartment!" By the way, she's the one who was talking about casual sex at Thanksgiving, in case you were wondering.

Really? Is there anyone in the world who needs to hear their MOM talk about their GRANDFATHER being frisky. And then to put the final nail in the coffin she says,

"I asked him if maybe they gave him VIAGRA instead!!"

Aaaand I think this is a call for celibacy, no?


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