Wednesday, October 21, 2009

¿hablas inglés?

On Tuesday mornings Julia and I do hill runs. Okay, let me amend that. On some Tuesday mornings Julia and I do hill runs. These are the mornings where one of us doesn't text "need more sleep". We start at 6:45am and torture ourselves for about 45 minutes and then it's done. It's the sort of activity that really, really sucks while you're doing it but after you realize how good it was for you. I'd say that the split is 43 minutes pure hate, 2 minutes of the warm fuzzies.

So I was walking home one morning after a particularly grueling hill run just as the Somerville kids were on their way to school. I noticed that a boy, he must have been around 13 or so, was walking in the opposite direction. To my left I see an older woman, clad only in a huge, fuzzy bathrobe and clutching a tiny, tiny teacup on a saucer. This in and of itself isnt all that weird but then I realized that she was talking, actually yelling, at the boy. She was screaming "ARE YOU GOING TO SCHOOL? ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY TO SCHOOL? ARE YOU GOING TO SCHOOL YOUNG MAN? ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY TO SCHOOL LITTLE BOY?"

The boy looked mortified. But he politely tried to answer the crazy old bag and kept saying over and over again "Yes ma'am I'm on my way to school." The lady either couldn't or didn't want to hear him. As I walked by her she looked at me and yelled "GUESS HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HE'S GOING TO SCHOOL... GUESS ENGLISH ISN'T HIS FIRST LANGUAGE. SORRY SON, I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH". She then took her fluffy robe wearing, tiny teacup and saucer holding self back inside.

He just stood there in front of her house for a second. And then he looked at me, shook his head and continued walking to school.

I find this story amusing. I think it's mostly because I can see myself being a batty old lady, standing on my lawn in a bathrobe, yelling at the neighborhood kids. And then I'd go inside and feed my 200 cats.

Ahhhh, it's gonna be a wonderful life. A wonderful, creepy life.

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