Thursday, September 3, 2009

let's talk about pee, baby

Picture from

Wait, have I ever mentioned my tiny bladder? Maybe once or twice. So anyway, there have been times when my tiny bladder has been so full and there is just no bathroom in sight. Granted, its usually when I've been engaging in some serious imbibing. It's at those times that I could kill a stranger in order to have a penis. I just think that life would be so much easier if I was biologically able to pee in an alley or some other inconspicuous location. My penis envy has been amplified upon coming across the Street Urinal (thanks Nat for passing along this article!).

I think it's a brilliant idea, but I have a concern. Men have awful aim when it comes to their penises. I'm not making this up, I grew up with two brothers, one of whom I had the absolute pleasure of sharing a bathroom with. Even the most sober of gentleman has a problem getting their pee into the toilet bowl. I mean, you wouldn't think it was that difficult since the toilet seat is big enough to, you know, fit your ass. That's not the case. I can't tell you how many times my brothers have left little presents behind on the toilet. That's especially pleasant on the rare occasion that they actually put the seat down so my ass doesn't fall into the toilet water.

So how, after a night of heavy drinking, is one expected to hit such a small target? I don't think it's unheard of for a drunk individual to be a little, how do you say, unsteady on their feet? Also, what if you're a little shorter (or taller) than the "average man"? Or what about if you have, you know, A VAGINA? Does Senor Melgarejo (the designer) not understand that women also occasionally have to answer the call of nature??

Once again, the vag gets the shaft. And not literally, unfortunately.


Monica said...

that...contraption skeeves me out haha

poor vagina's. i constantly have penis envy, especially when it comes to peeing!

Unknown said...

poor vaginas :(