Thursday, September 10, 2009

goes bump in the night

Remember my older brother? The one who intentionally tried to lose me at MGM Studios? Yea, that one. He used to play tons of tricks on me growing up. There was the dribble cup incident. And the times that he farted on my face. Harmless stuff. But sometimes he got a little... creative.

You know how when you wake up in the middle of the night to pee, it's almost like you're sleepwalking? You're awake, but in sort of a slumber-induced haze. And I'm sure it's no surprise to anyone who reads my blog with even the slightest bit of regularity that I get up several times a night to go to the little girl's room.

(Yea I bet you're sitting there thinking, "Holy crap.. another pee post?!" Deal with it.)

So I go into the bathroom and start doin' my bizness. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye I see the shower curtain move. I'm imagining that a huge feral bobcat is going maul me to death right then and there. Then the curtain makes a WHOOSH noise as it's pulled back and I see something jumping in my direction. At this point I scream bloody murder, fall off the toilet and start to sob.

A few seconds later I am standing face to face with my brother, who is laughing hysterically. Apparently in all of his years on earth, this was just about the most amazing and funny thing that he'd ever done.

You know what wiped the smile off his face super quickly? When he looked down and realized that I was so scared that when I fell off the toilet I didn't stop peeing. And that I was peeing right on his feet.*

Sucka.


*Disclaimer - my brother claims that this never actually happened despite my vivid memories of that night. However, I stand by my story and insist that it did, in fact, happen.

4 comments:

Samantha said...

Wow it's stories like that that make me so happy to only have a younger brother. ;)

j. said...

oh believe me - my younger brother tortured me just as much as the older one did!!

PJ said...

Love the story, but love the disclaimer the best!

j. said...

I just had to put it out there. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't. haha