Tuesday, August 18, 2009

the infamous naked boy story

Within my group of friends, we have a tendency to do a lot of "OH MY GOD, remember the night ?!" This is definitely one of the stories that gets repeated often, and with enthusiasm. Today's guest blog comes from Lori, hands down one of my favorite people in the world. A fellow New Yorker, Yankee fan, pledge sister and one of my best friends - we acquired the nickname Lucy & Ethel in college. I love and miss ya Luce! Anyway, I hope that you enjoy today's blog:

So you know that time in your life when its seems like every one is 21 except you? Well as a September baby that time was the summer before senior year of college. This could have been a rather horrible summer if not for the blessed gift of DNA which caused me to look like a clone of my older sister. I had been using her ID for about three years at this point and it worked so well that sometimes I really thought I was legally allowed to be in the bar. Well here is the story of the night where my over-confidence got the best of me.

My friends and I had been on the cape all day at our girl friends parent’s house directly on the beach. We boozed, boated and drank about a liter of grey goose preceded by beer and wine. Needless to say by the time we were heading back to the city I was pretty far gone, however being the trooper that I am I rallied. I showered (that’s another story.. drunk people should not be allowed in the shower.. it’s dangerous), changed and headed out for our local bar. This is where the night gets fuzzy. We went to the first bar, fake ID in hand and got in no problem. I would venture to guess I inhaled four or so drinks and was barely able to stand when we got to the next bar.. this is where the drama begins.

So, here I am handing my ID to the bouncer when he decides that this ridiculously drunk girl should not be in the bar. Now in true Boston fashion, rather than just tell me to go home he starts to play the question game. Address? City? Haha, I answer correctly, that is until he asks my name and being the ever ridiculous drunk that I am look him straight in the eye and say my own name. Whoops. It’s my sister’s ID. Nevertheless he is nice enough to hand me back the ID before he kicks me out. Now recall my earlier admission that sometimes I think I really am legally allowed to be in bars, well this was one of those times. I am pissed! How dare you reject me. I’m pretty sure I threatened to call the cops and nearly dialed 911 (because obviously this is an emergency) before my ever so wise friends dragged me home and put my drunk ass to bed.

If the story were to end here it would not be that interesting but yes it gets better (or perhaps worse.. take your pick). I finally give in to my friends dragging me down the street and go home and pass out. I awake in the morning feeling like quite a jackass and with the most g-d awful hangover I’ve ever had. All I want it water so I muster up the effort to get out of bed and go to the kitchen. Not two steps from my door I stop dead in my tracks because in front of me lying on my couch is a fully naked man. FACE UP! I will also mention that he was kind enough to strategically place a face towel in the nether region but still I got a glimpse. And it was more than anyone should see when hung over.

Somewhat shocked but not deterred I get my water and proceed back to my bedroom. Over the next hour I sober up and while I am at my computer hear a knock on the door. I shout for the knocker to ‘come in’ and low and behold it’s naked boy (I think it important to mention that he has since upgraded to a full body towel.. thank you naked boy). All he says is “Do you know where my clothes are?” Holding back my laughter I reply, “Considering you did not sleep with me last night, no I do not know where your clothes are” and kindly direct him to Roommate A’s room (at this point I’m pretty sure she is responsible for him). He says “uh, thanks” and leaves.

Had this experience not been the culmination of my prior night it may not have been so symbolic but I learned a very valuable lesson from naked boy.. no matter how ridiculous I may have been I did not wake up naked in a stranger's house and therefore I WIN.

Even the Naked Cowboy is wearing more clothing than Naked Boy.


Monica said...

hahaha that's amazing.
i probably wouldn't have just gone back to my room, but good for you!

C. said...

Oh, that was Dante. I remember that night, we meet up with a bunch of kids from my high school and the lawyer amoungst us took Dante home as a prize. And what a prize he was.

Unknown said...

c. - i love the subtle clue of "the lawyer amongst" us that you threw in there. brava.