Sunday, July 26, 2009

goodnight moon.

I have a confession.

I'm an alcohol-induced narcoleptic.

When I get drunk, I feel the need to take a nap. I have "rested my eyes" at countless parties, bars, and even the IHOP in Watertown at 3am. Once, at a party at my friend's apartment, I disappeared and fell asleep on someone's bed. My boyfriend at the time was apparently freaked out and my friends all nonchalantly replied "Oh, that's what Jessie does. She'll be awake in about half an hour". Just a few weeks ago, after double-fisting champagne all night at my friend's wedding, I decided I needed a little time-out at the reception. This was a source of much amusement for all of my friends. Hey guys, that's what I'm here for.

The summer after my freshman year of college, my roommate came from Rhode Island for a visit. Me, her, a couple other friends decide to pregame the way that only 19 years olds can before heading to a huge club in the city (Soundfactory, maybe? I have no freaking idea). I proceed to sleep on the train to the city, in the cab to the club, and once we get to the club I find a chair and takw a nap there as well. I don't remember how long we spent there, but I am assuming that it wasn't all that long and that my friends basically hate me for being the most annoying drunk EVER. Shortly after (I think?), we head back to Queens. Again, I sleep in the cab to Penn Station, the train back to queens, and the cab back to my house.

We get back to my house. I step through my front door and yell "I'M AWAKE! SO WHAT ARE WE DOING NOW?!".

If looks could have killed, my drunk ass would have been dead on the floor. I am ordered to go to bed immediately and go, pouting the entire way.

Drunk fail.

Look how classy I am in my party dress.
What do you mean you can't see the dress because I'm passed out?

6 comments:

Ann said...

HAhahahaha! That pic is great! I pass out after a few drinks, too. Hopefully it hasn't been caught on film. Thanks for making me laugh this Sunday morning. :)

Kori said...

this happens to me a lot as well. in undergrad i actually fell asleep on a bar. we're champs.

PJ said...

ROFL, Jess, you are one of a kind.
Love this post.

j. said...

Ann and Kori - I am glad that i'm not the only drunkface who sometimes needs to take a nap in the middle of a night out :)

pj - i would have to agree that there's probably no one else like me in the world. i think that's a good thing. don't know if the universe could handle more than one :)

Nik said...

One plus to this situation: Now you know how to cure your insomnia, should you need to!

Maybe a vodka/redbull would help?? :-)

Ha! Great post!!

j. said...

ha Nik! you know, i do sometimes suffer from insomnia. i never thought to combine the two!!