Tuesday, June 16, 2009

strawngfuckingisland


Thank you Dave for sending me this video. It totally made my day.

For those of you who are from New York, you're aware of the well-known joke that Staten Island has wanted to secede from NY State and become the 51st state. Most people who are from the other four boroughs have the same response "haha okay go for it, we don't want you anyway". However, this is the first I've heard of Lawngisland (Long Island for those of you non-New Yorkers) wanting to secede. Imagine that, an entire state of perfectly manscaped, tan Guidos. The possibilities for the potential state of Long Island are endless. I imagine that to be admitted to the state you'd have to pass a body waxing exam and meet the minimum gelled hair requirements. National holidays would include mandatory time spent at Jones Beach or the Roosevelt Field Mall. Well, you have my vote Strawngisland!

Here are some of my favorite moments from the clip:

You're a state senator from Long Island, I mean, if this secession happens, you could be a real senator. Senator Marcellino from the great state of LAWNG FUCKING ISLAND.

Lawngisland is a melting pot. You got all these awesome Italian guys, beautiful Italian women, nice Italian food.
You're not making it seem like a melting pot. Unless you're talking about a melting pot of bubbling marinara sauce.

Dearest Gina, we're dangerously low on Axe body spray, and those fucking suckers from Massapequa took all my free weights. By the way, that picture you took of me and my rim, it's fucking sick. Give my love to your family, except your sister, she's a fucking whore.

We can beat up any other state you've got.
What state could you beat up? and please don't say Rhode Island or Connecticut, because everyone knows those are pussy states.
What do you think?
Ireland.
I don't think that counts.. Other states not in Europe.
Staten Island.
OTHER STATES.
Canada? New Jersey?
Isn't that like being up your conjoined twin? You're so genetically similar.

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