Wednesday, June 10, 2009

mazel tov!

Thanksgiving. Eighth grade. I woke up feeling sort of... off. I didn't pay much attention because I was busy helping my mom prep for family dinner. Everyone arrives and we're all seated at the table ready to eat. I fill up my plate and start to eat and realize that everything tastes weird. Like eggs. Ew, everything tastes like eggs and I have no idea why. I run to the bathroom because I feel as though I may throw up. While I'm there I realize that I've gotten my "monthly visitor" for the first time ever. Since I'm a mature 13 year old I scream. Loudly.

My mother comes rushing into the bathroom and figures out what's going on. She gives me a huge hug and then slaps me straight across the face. Yep. That's right. Apparently it's some sort of "good luck" gesture. But not knowing this I just cry. Hysterically. After about 15 minutes of uncontrollable sobbing because I have no idea what's going on and I've just been slapped in the face, my mom leaves me to get myself together. When I finally emerge from the bathroom my entire family starts clapping and gives me a standing ovation. The entire time my mom is going "JESSIE IS FINALLY A WOMAN TODAY."

Worst. Thanksgiving. Ever.

One day my life is going to make some therapist a millionaire. Seriously, I am therapy gold.

5 comments:

Mara @ What's For Dinner? said...

Dude, you had Thanksgiving? i had new years. Smack in the face and all... my sister had Thanksgiving too. My mom had Halloween. Oy.

LindsB said...

What an awful Thanksgiving- I dont get why families think its such a big deal to get your friggin period, it sucks if you ask me!

Elizabeth said...

shut. up. we got our FIRST period in the same EXACT week! hahaha, great story though...mine wasn't as exciting.

Date Girl said...

Wow...just WOW. What's with the smack in the face? When I first got my period, I was TEN, and in Disneyland, with my stepmom who I hated. Talk about the "happiest place on earth". HA. I still hate even thinking of that dumb park.

jessie said...

Mara and Elizabeth - not much of a festive occasion that day was it??

Linds - my mom was so excited for me to "finally be a woman" haha but the rest of my family was all "ew can eat now?"

Date Girl - aww i don't blame you for hating Disney! i can't say that i blame ya :)