Tuesday, June 2, 2009

guest blog: joe schmo

Today's guest blog is brought to you by Chanz and the letter J: for Joe.

So Meredith and I went up to Hunter, New York for Mountain Jam. I got the tickets from work, they were VIP and we decided to go because a) VIP mean free food and $3 premium beers and b) Meredith said the show had "the most schizophrenic line up ever". We drive up Friday afternoon go straight into the show, realize after a few beers that we don't want to camp and decided to sleep in the car. OK. Wake up the next morning and venture back down the mountain and into town to find breakfast. We quickly discover that everything in Hunter, New York is a little off and in some way named after Rip Van Winkle (example: they have the Rip Van Winkle Rubber Duckie Festival going on at Rip Van Winkle Lake but we come to find out upon further inspection that there are in fact no Rubber Duckies). Ok. We have fallen through the looking glass, but you know, whatever weirder shit has happened to us.

We find a diner, and let me interject and say that Selena's Diner in Tannersville, New York is phenomenal. Amazing. There are no words. So we have been fed and have gotten past our disappointment and confusion over the lack of Rubber Duckies at the Rubber Duckie Festival and we go back to the mountain. We spend the rest of the day napping and drinking on the side of the mountain listening to bands. Now let’s note that we left Friday afternoon, did not tell anyone where we were going, and it is now Saturday evening and we have not heard from a single person. Not Jessie, not my mom, not the individual I seem to be dating, not a soul has thought "hey where are these girls".

So it is with great surprise that we wake up Sunday morning, still drunk, in the back of my car, to my phone ringing.

Ok. Weird.

Then get a text message from a number I don’t know saying "Sunday Funday?"

Confused I ask Meredith if she knows the number. She says no and have I given my number out lately; I haven't. The logical thing to do is text back "Who is this?" The resulting answer I get is "Joe". Ok. I am wracking my brain now and wondering who the hell Joe happens to be. I ask Meredith "Do I know a Joe? Do you know a Joe? Who is Joe?" So I text back "Joe who?" and I get "Joe from Harpoon"

Last time I was at Harpoon was in October, I made out with approximately 10 guys and told them all to "Call me. Big party at my place, come on by." I then proceeded to pass out in the alley behind my apartment at 1am. Needless to say, the party never happened.

So I text back "I'm in NY, sorry. Have a fun day." And I get back "K. Cool. Monday Funday?"

So I now had a date scheduled with Joe Harpoon who I think I made out with like a year ago and have not heard from since.

For the record, I went on the date. We had a beer and I was glad that I had passed out in the alley all those months ago. Epic beer goggle fail.

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