Saturday, June 13, 2009

feels like the first time

We all remember certain "firsts" in our lives. First kiss. First date. First boyfriend. First time ever drunk. And of course there's the first hangover. I spent my summers at a bungalow colony in the Catskills. At the age of 15, my friends and I decided that we should start drinking. Being the inexperienced boozer that I was, I decided at first to stick to drinks like Mike's Hard Lemonade. You know, the girly crap. Eventually we moved on to Absolut vodka. Straight out of the bottle. I vividly remember sitting on the playground swigging from the bottle and thinking "man this is awesome."

The way I felt the next morning? Not so awesome. First of all, I slept on the top of a set of bunk beds. How I made it up there without falling off the side of the ladder is a complete mystery to me. When my aunt, who was taking care of me and my brothers while my mom was in New York, wakes me up for camp my first reaction was "Please, just kill me." My second reaction is intense nausea. I make it off the bunk bed and into the bathroom only seconds before throwing up pure vodka. My aunt is convinced that I've contracted some sort of stomach flu and I don't have the heart to tell her that I do, and that it's called Absolut.

I manage to get myself together enough to get dressed and make it to camp. I must have been still drunk to think that I could live through a day of being around my six and seven year old campers. I decide that the key to my survival is a nap, and I proceed to fall asleep on top of an unused ping pong table. Great supervision, right? I am awoken to my campers underneath the me, kicking, screaming and punching the table. At this point my co-counselor tells me that I'm basically useless to her and that I need to just go home.

The next thing I know, I'm sleeping on couch in the front room and my aunt is on the phone saying "She threw up this morning and came home early... Stomach flu.. No I don't think it's that, it can't be.. No I don't think she drnak last night.. NO THERE'S NO WAY SHE'S HUNGOVER AND LIED TO ME." I feel conflicted. On the one hand, I am feeling tremendous amounts of guilt because my aunt is sticking up for me. On the other hand, I am incredibly scared that my mom could tell from over 110 miles away that I was lying.

I wish I could say that I became better at holding my liquor, or that I was able to hide it more effectively in the future, or that I figured out how to deal with a hangover. Really, I havent. And over the years my mother has only gotten better at figuring out when I'm lying, almost creepily so. Sometimes I still get scared to pick up her calls on a weekend morning, afraid that instead of saying hi she'll say "Looks like someone had a rough night last night".

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

that picture was absolutely taken in south carolina or georgia. for sure!

jessie said...

I have no doubt about that!!

enjoyliving said...

ickkk! my first drinking experience was pepsi+peppermint schnapps. you read right! it was the only thing i could steal from my parents w/o them noticing. just GUESS how my night turned out.

jessie said...

I can't imagine that the combination of pepsi and peppermint schnapps could have taken you anywhere except to a bad, bad place.