Monday, April 6, 2009

who comes up with this crap?

I was pretty shocked by the stupidity of Mantyhose, but this totally takes the cake. According to the website, "Designer Sandra Tanimura said she decided to introduce the designs as her customers wanted very low trousers - but had difficulty keeping them up." Oh right, because all the cool girls wear their thongs so they purposely show above their low-rise jeans, right? I'm glad that I no longer have to worry about finding underwear that's high enough to achieve that really classy look. God, one less thing to stress about in life.

But, that's nothing compared to the electric razor/vibrator that my friend sent me a link about. The website touts the product as a "wet shaving razor that is, in fact, fully functional as a razor, this very pleasurable toy is the first of its kind, a multi-functional vibrator". Yes, you read that correctly. Someone had the bright idea to combine a sharp tool that is used to rid your legs of hair with something that is meant to give you an orgasm.

I have a bit of a hunch as to why this product is the first of its kind. It's because you would have to be batshit insane to put a razor that close to your clitoris. I'm sorry, I'd rather not have that awkward conversation with the ER nurse about how the cap went flying off in the middle of a shower pleasure session. I'd rather not ever face the possibility of stitches down there. My suggestion? Keep the shaving to the Lady Bic and find yourself a waterproof vibrator. Believe me, you'll thank me later.

I agree with my friend who passed along this link to me, "the thought of it just makes me clench."

From vibrator to razor.. just like that! BRILLIANT!


alexisjulian said...

I remember reading something somewhere that suggested that a rise in vibrating hygiene products (which are completely unnecessary) was because women wanted excuses to have phallic shaped objects that vibrate but are too embarrassed to go out and actually get a sex toy. Hence the Neutrogena Wave, Venus Vibrance, Sonicare Toothbrush, etc. It's an interesting theory but I'd really hope most women had enough balls to go buy a plastic set of them.

Unknown said...

That theory totally makes sense, but i mean.. a razor blade?! Haha it's just bad news bears all over the place.