Tuesday, April 14, 2009

j-disasters

I am currently on the West Coast, partaking in some debauchery in Vegas or sweating to death in the desert at Coachella. I decided that a week was too long to go without any new posts for you, my faithful readers, so I wrote a few in advance and have them scheduled to be posted while I'm gone. Aren't I the most thoughtful blogger ever? Don't worry, you can shower me with love and affection if/when I return.

Today's guest blog comes from my friend Mara. I recently did a guest blog about running for her blog What's for Dinner. It's comforting to know that it's not just me who has met a lot of freaks from online dating websites. Enjoy!

Before I met my wonderful fiance, I had quite the experience with the lovely online dating service known as JDate. Looking back, they were nothing short of, well...what was to be expected. In chronological order, I bring you, JDate Disasters (names have been shortened to first initials only):
  1. J - took me to a fancy Spanish restaurant downtown. Watched my ass as I walked away to the bathroom. 2nd date, I picked him up at his apartment and found that his apartment had absolutely no color anywhere. Well, except for the stack of teddy bears on his dresser. He then wouldn't let me take my leftovers home because he paid for them.
  2. D - Dated on and off for about 4 months. He lived at home with his parents. He was 27 and drove a Volvo and was super proud of that fact. He had no intent of leaving his parents' house. We went Dutch on every date.
  3. H - Lived at home with his parents. Had no intent of leaving his parents house. First date: bar down the street from my apartment. He lived 40 minutes away. I think he thought he would get some. He too was way too proud of his car... he kissed like a fish.
  4. E - Had a fetish for having overweight women wrap their legs around his head, WWE style. Had one glass of wine and walked home.
  5. S - Lived at home with his parents. Had no intent of leaving his parents house. Openly called his manly area his "dork" and wanted to go "parking" in his 1988 boat of a car. Again: one date.
  6. A - Brought wine and a rose on our first date. Lived at home with his parents. No intent of leaving. Watched the Lion King and fell asleep.
Then, finally...I met my fiance... he didn't live at home with his parents, had a cat and a dog, a good job, and owned his own house. That got him the first date. I still think JDate should have a checkbox that says "lives with parents" and a "yes" or "no" under intent of moving out.

1 comment: