Sunday, March 29, 2009

up the butt, and not the good kind.

You know how a specific object, song, or smell can trigger a memory from your childhood? That happens to me a lot, except they're not always the amusing sort. One day while watching Discovery Health (FYI: best channel ever), I was assaulted with a really, really unpleasant childhood memory. When it happens I am appalled, disgusted and basically pissed. I grab my phone, and when my mother picks up I don't even say hello before yelling:
"YOU USED TO TAKE MY TEMPERATURE AND GIVE ME MEDICINE BY STICKING IT UP MY BUTT. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?! WHAT MOTHER WOULD DO THAT TO HER CHILD?!"
She cannot respond for a solid five minutes and all I hear is her gasping for air because she is laughing so hard. Finally she explains that when I was younger I was unable to keep any medicine down. I would scream, cry, hyperventilate and eventually throw up whatever antibiotics that she'd just given me. So the only way that she could take my temperature or give me medicine was, you guessed it, rectally. This lasted until I was well into elementary school. The funny thing is that now I can swallow pretty much any sized pill without any water. Maybe this is the universe's way of saying "Sorry Jessie, you've been traumatized enough for now."

Oh, and the memory that came back to me? It was of me laying ass up on my parent's bed yelling that I had to go to the bathroom and my mom threatening to hold my ass cheeks together if I didn't sit still.

Good times.

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6 comments:

Elizabeth said...

the stories just get better and better each day.

fan. for. life.

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

lol..nice one:) Got yourself a follower.

Ian said...

Well, I won't forget that post in a hurry.

Jamwes said...

Very funny. Your poor mother.

Julong said...

Hi,its nice.

Date Girl said...

Hahah, that's classic, you poor thing!