Wednesday, March 11, 2009

that's what friends are for

I feel as though my recent blogs have implied that most of my time is spent unconscious, peeing in inappropriate places (or outfits), or being inappropriately drunk. I'd say for the most part that this is correct. But I'm going to try to tell a story that doesn't make me cringe or cause my friends to pity me. The key word being try.

It's the beginning of freshman year and we've been invited 80's themed party with the crew team. For the occasion, we scour the thrift stores in Allston and spend the rest of the afternoon cutting the neck lines out of sweatshirts and making leg warmers. We arrive at the party and proceed to drink a ton of keg beer out of our red Solo cups. We all start getting a little shitty. I begin talking to this guy named Matt, and we hit it off and eventually start making out. Hey, no judgement, don't forget that this is my freshman year of college. We spend most of the night making out, only taking breaks for me to take ridiculous self-pictures with my friends.

I notice that he's been nibbling on my neck but don't really pay attention because 1. I'm drunk and 2. I guess I just don't really care. However, my friends notice and one comes up to us, and says "Hey Matt, why don't you stop sucking on her neck and start sucking on her FACE?" True friendship is when you see your friend getting hoovered and you try your best to stop it. I definitely got insanely lucky in the freshman roommate lottery.

Before I leave to hit up the late-night pizza place with my friends, we exchange numbers and he promises to call the next day. I will eventually learn that when guys say this, that they are usually lying. However, at this point I am still naive and havent really yet been screwed over by countless guys. Ahhh the innocence of freshman year of college.

The next day I recieve no call from Matt, but he did leave me this lovely consolation prize: THE BIGGEST HICKEYS EVER. When I saw him on campus a few days afterwards, he ignored me. That's when he went from just Matt to Asshole Matt, and has been referred to as such ever since.

Asshole.

This picture doesn't truly do the hickeys justice but this is the only one I could find. Please believe me when I say they were awful and lasted for weeks.

5 comments:

Natalie said...

maybe he was a vampire? you are ahead of the trends bb!

jessie said...

He was a little bit of an albino....

Elizabeth said...

LOL!! if i had a nickel for everytime i received a hickey and NO phonecall...

Anonymous said...

that's not the best picture of the hickeys, they were much better ones... and yes, you were insanely lucky in the freshman roomtate lottery :)

jessie said...

oh hey "anonymous" do you have better pictures of them? i'd be happy to replace it with one of yours.

and you had a pretty awesome freshman roomie too!