Monday, February 9, 2009

really, spanx?

As a little background, I'm an online dater. I have been for a couple of years. I've found it really difficult to meet people since I graduated from college. Not only that, the guys I do meet spout gems such as " Baby, don't you know that I could rock your world?" Gee, thanks.

We'll call this guy Northeastern. So after a great after-work date, we decide to meet his friends later that evening. We go back to his apartment and watch a movie. Famous last words, folks. We're watching a movie and then we're making out. This should all be fine, because he's good looking and a good kisser, right? Wrong. That morning when I got dressed, I chose this adorable polka dot J.Crew dress. I wanted to look slim so I put on my handy spanx-like undergarment and went on my way. How could I have known that I might actually be getting some later that night?

Ok, back to the making out. Hands are roaming and I'm freaking out that my girdle-like underwear will be revealed. Eventually, Northeastern pushes my dress up a little bit and sees it in all its glory. I then proceed to jump up and run into the bathroom. Yea, not awkward at all. While I'm there I frantically weigh my options. I can take them off and just pretend that they never existed, which wouldn't really work since he's already seen them. Or I can just come clean and admit that I'm quickly turning into my mother and wearing granny panties.

I emerge from the bathroom and do my signature awkward giggle. I'm so flustered that the words "I didn't actually expect to like you, so I didn't think it would matter what kind of underwear I wore" came out of my mouth. Excellent job, Jessie. You're not only the chick in lame underwear, but now you're a bitch in lame underwear. Later he told me that he thought it was incredibly cool of me to be able to laugh at the situation. What else could i really do. I mean, what would you do if you found yourself in a real-life version of Bridget Jones's Diary? Except, my choice in underwear made hers seem downright sexy:

My. Life. Is. So. Awkward.


Anonymous said...

Haha. I love spanx! And I have always wondered what happens if you wear them and actually get with a guy later... You've confirmed my thoughts that it'd be awkward! Good for you though, for laughing it off. I would just die.

Unknown said...

In situations like that, all you can do is laugh it off. I wanted to die a little bit too, but it eventually passed ha.