Wednesday, February 11, 2009

cats in the cradle.

I love most things about cats. I love how cute and teeny they are as kittens. I love how they'll follow a laser pointer around the house for hours. And I especially love them when they're partnered with funny captions (as I've previously explained). However, I will never, ever own cats so long as I am single. Why, do you ask? They're be the perfect companion for an unmarried lady, right? WRONG.

When I was 12, I had this dream. I was old, decrepit and living in this huge house. Normally, a big house would be kind of cool, except I had no family, and no friends. I only had cats. Dozens and dozens of cats. This fact on its own isn't all that scary. However, in my nightmare, I died and no one knew or cared. Except for my cats. They ate me and no one ever knew that I was gone.

I woke up from the nightmare literally hyperventilating and ended up sleeping at the foot of my parents bed for at least a week. I swore to myself that so long as I was single, no cat would ever cross the threshold of my home. Of all the promises I've ever made to myself, this is probably the only one that I will never break.


LindsB said...

I am, for real, peeing my pants right now- that cat is scary. And I agree with you on the cats thing, I have the same rule.

Found your blog through Robin, and my stomach hurts from laughing so hard- f-in hysterical!

LindsB said...

OH- the first part of my comment was because I was laughing so hard, NOT because it was scary- I really need to work on my writing skills.

Unknown said...

I am glad that you enjoyed it! I'm trying to turn my trauma into humor for everyone else haha. And welcome to my blog! :)

Anonymous said...

wait...where did you find this video of me after i was told i wouldnt be having ANY sex in 2009? i thought this would never leak.. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Unknown said...

This was taken right after I peeled off your faux leather leggings and right before you kicked me out of my own bed and forced me to sleep on the couch. LOVE YA.